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I changed my scenary and charmed by the sight, I forgot of wounds, fog and shadows. Its like being in a dark room in which it rains…you feel the raindrops but you dont see them, feels like it hurts less…but as the lights turn on…you wake up ane end up in the middle of the ocean, running on water, and suddenly you drown.
One good may bring several bads. Or several bads may be followed by good…
What will I do?
After being slapped, I turned the other cheek and got slapped again.
let it flow from inside your soul, cover all your wounds and make you accept the reality, step on it and be immune to everything that surrounds you. let the music vibrate in ur lungs and make your heart skip a heart beat. let every brush stroke scratch your ego and heal each injury, turning color into cells. let my words cover you in ropes and make endless knots.
wipe your tears cause the circus wont stop. the faster you accept the reality, the faster you’ll understand your pain and deal with it. after all, you’ll just get used to it.
let me be my nothing.
let me be my air, my fire, my rain and pain.
let me burn from the depth of my nonsense
and heal the wounds of my passing storms.
let me be my thorns, as i will get trapped in my own game.
let me be my pain, my family and friends, as only I will know.
let me be my nothing, as nothing is something.
sometimes being harsh on urself can be exhausting. blaming urself for air, being upset that the wind is blowing and waves are crashing in the cliffs.
could there be any solution for this madness, could there be hope for the undefined, could there be something if there is nothing?
why would i stop time and eternally remove the batteries when there is no ending for this suffering, poverty and vain?
and as i look up in the bag i carry with me, there are so many things i own while there is still a lot they miss.
but what for all the glitter when im in pain and crave for a piece of roots.
One of the few songs in the world that charms me in seconds and starts storms in my soul is “Hayastan” by one of Armenia’s greatest singers that passed away few years ago.
The strength of this song has no limits…it connects you to your roots, it gives you chills and shivers and tears and leaves you speechless. The only song that reminds you of things you never felt, the song that takes you in the past and helps you understand and feel every single bullet and knife strike. A song that leaves you in the middle of the desert, to suffer next to your ancestors starving, hopelessly walking, as if God forgot of them.
A song that reminds you of every single stone in your motherland, every drop in the lakes, every single smile that hides a heart barbarically tortured.
A song to be remembered.
We are small. We are like spices, just as salt gives the taste to the whole dish. Yes,we are small. Who asked you to press us so much, to turn us involuntarily into adamant? Who asked you to spread us just like stars, so now you see us at every step? We are small, just like our country… Small…It glitters and shines for ages, but never fades.
Menk by Gevorg Emin,
Another song, another tear, another scream, another touch.
It’s the song that brakes any limit of pride and “manliness”, another one that summons the childhood full of dust, forgotten in the arms of mother, somewhere between dreams and memories.
I present u my pain and strength, sung by one of my favorite Armenian singer. Close your eyes, start feeling everything related to your mother…imagine how life would be without her, what life is with her, what she means for you…the fear of losing her, the struggle to not be late…just as she says.
