I guess I reached a moment of my life that wants me to struggle.
To struggle like I never struggled.
I start making connections with the feelings I felt when working on one of my first theater roles, that of a military in love with a prostitute which ends up charming my character which was supposed to listen to his mother and struggle for a better life.
The reason why I chose this example is that I feel like I’m trying to accomplish something but it seems fake to me, just like I felt when trying to understand and act as my character “feels”. It is very important to me to feel satisfied with my work. I have to feel it’s right and good. You will have to try hard to convince me what I did is ok.
I’m stubborn. Lazy. Tired. And still lazy.
I want to go back to the start.
We never can…It’s just a stupid dream.
I feel like I can only complain….which makes me feel sorry of what I became.
All I hope is strength, inspiration and passion.
Two more month.
Please come and give me what I once had cause I bet this poor reader is confused and starts to realize I’m just wastin time.